Every year, the Golden Globes are watchable for one reason and one reason only: television stars and movie stars in the same room at the same time. It’s the closest we get to our fantasy involving Mary-Louise Parker and Jessica Biel coming true. But, outside that, we never know why we watch, because the show lacks any credibility.
No other awards ever have as many holes in their nominations — no Sopranos? No Office? Really? Nowhere else will you have 7 movies nominated for one of two Best Picture awards. And since Oscar ballots have already been mailed, the winners of the Golden Globes have no influence on the outcome of the Oscars (so really, don’t hold your breath for “Atonement” or “Sweeney Todd”). The show can be funny to watch the stars get drunk, but that’s it. Jeremy Piven winning humiliates the awards’ credibility unless we get to hear him stammer a hammered acceptance speech.
When the show doesn’t exist, the awards are meaningless. Yesterday’s “press conference”, presented by television personalities whose only fantasy I had involved a method I saw in “Dexter” and not “Californication”, was worthless both for the presentation and the winners. Hopefully yesterday wasn’t the exception, but the new rule: let’s protest the Golden Globes for good.