—Happy birthday to Jason Bateman, who turns 39 today. Check out this hilarious clip of him bantering with Juno costar Michael Cera.
—The Golden Globes list of winners was announced last night. Juno got robbed all over the place.
—A new Albany-based steroid report alleges that Mary J. Blige and 50 Cent have used or received performance-enhancing drugs. Also named in the report: Timbaland, Wyclef Jean and Tyler Perry. Never again will I watch Madea’s Family Reunion with the same enthusiasm.
—Tonight, Katie Holmes appears on The Late Show with David Letterman. It will be her first talk show appearance since she was allegedly abducted by fame-alien Tom Cruise and impregnated by the founder of Scientology. Can’t wait to see how safe Dave plays it.
—In other Katie-related news: Slate has posted a series of saucy excerpts from the upcoming Tom Cruise biography. The bio is unauthorized, so the snippets run the gamut of believability. One says Tom really had sex onscreen in Risky Business; another says he fitted Katie’s cell phone with a tracking device during her recent pregnancy.
—After choosing Ryan Gosling to play Kurt Cobain in her (hypothetical) biopic, Courtney Love has chosen Scarlett Johansson to play herself. I was thinking Amy Winehouse.
—Roger Avary, screenwriter of Pulp Fiction, was arrested yesterday for a DUI and suspicion of manslaughter. Talk about separating your life from your work.
—Rumors are circulating that Paris Hilton will be given the Harvard Lampoon’s “Woman of the Year” award on February 6th. This puts Paris in the same league as Conan O’Brien and John Updike, although this is not the first time that her name and “dike” have appeared in the same sentence.
—Congrats to both of the weekend’s celebrity moms. On Friday, Nicole Ritchie gave birth to Harlow Winter Kate Madden, her daughter with Good Charlotte’s Joel Madden. Then on Saturday, Christina Aguilera gave birth to a 6 lb. baby boy whose name has yet to be released.
—On Sunday, Björk attacked a photographer in New Zealand. This raises an interesting quesiton: who the hell was taking pictures of Bjork?