1. The best character on TV is a chubby, self-obsessed Republican not named McCain or Huckabee. Evidence: 30 Rock.
2. Bearish movie stars = A-list TV comic actors. Evidence: Alec Baldwin, David Duchovny.
3. A-list TV comic actors = B-list movie star. Evidence: Steve Carell.
4. Lab geeks + hot chicks = comedy gold! Evidence: Chuck, Big Bang Theory
5. Lab geeks + dead hot chicks = must-see drama! Evidence: CSI Miami
6. Dead people really are more fun. Evidence: Pushing Daisies.
7. Amnesia survivors are just annoying. Evidence: Samantha Who?
8. Sure, 15 minutes could save you 15 percent on car insurance…but you’ll never get this half hour back. Evidence: Cavemen
9. The sicker the doctor, the better the show. Evidence: Grey’s Anatomy, House, Nip/Tuck.
10. Two ugly, struggling musicians > One handsome, successful movie star. Evidence: Flight of the Conchords, Season 1; Entourage, Season 4.
11. Somehow, sci-fi nerd and Heroes creator Tim Kring became Hollywood’s biggest pimp. Evidence: Kristen Bell, Ali Larter, Hayden Pantierre.
12. Watching children act like adults is good. Evidence: Kid Nation.
13. Watching adults act like children is better. Evidence: Marie Osmond, Dancing with the Stars.
14. Sadly, the game show era is dead, new lows being achieved everyday. Evidence: Price Is Right, Deal Or No Deal, Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?
15. NBC has lost its laugh track. Evidence: 30 Rock, My Name is Earl, The Office, Scrubs.
16. Robert Duvall, we’re sad to say, is losing his mind. Evidence: 2007 Emmy Awards.
17. Gordon Ramsay is reality television’s best angry, honest, vocal Brit. Evidence: Hell’s Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares.
18. God end the writers’ strike! Evidence: The Office, Heroes, Pushing Daisies.
19. Writers are idiots. Let them and their families starve. Evidence: Private Practice, Cain, Samantha Who?
20. All good things must … end? Evidence: The Sopranos