Thursday’s Top Ten

—Happy birthday to Kid Rock, who turns 37 today. Rock had a banner year in 2007, culminating in the #1 debut of his seventh album (Rock N Roll Jesus). He also beat up a male customer in an Atlanta-area Waffle House and punched out the biggest dick in rock and roll. Mug shots here.

Ike Turner’s death has officially been ruled a cocaine overdose by the San Diego County Medical Examiner’s office. Once the husband of Tina Turner, Ike’s rock and roll career is remarkable; Rolling Stone credits his “Rocket 88” as the first rock song ever written. The magazine also has a photo tribute to his life. Ike died on December 12, 2007 at the age of 76.

—Porn director Bob Spalone has sold a Joey Buttafuoco sex tape to the Red Light District for release next month. You remember Buttafuoco as the infamous ex-boyfriend of Amy Fisher, who shot Buttafuoco’s wife in the face back in the 90s. No word on whether the sex tape involves any more shots to the face.

—Publicity poet Rosie O’Donnell has penned a short blog entry comparing Britney Spears to Princess Diana. Rosie fears the paparazzi’s effect on young Spears, alluding to the possibility of a Diana-like tragedy in the future. Usually I’d denounce Rosie as a fame-deprived sensationalist, but her words ring true on the same day that four photographers were arrested for reckless driving as they overzealously pursued Spears’ car.

—I think The Superficial headline best describes the shock this story invokes: “Matthew McConaughey reproduced.” The story of this kid’s life is really already written: he will be moderately good-looking, he will play high school quarterback at his dad’s behest and the famosity of his last name, he will act as a side character in dad’s cheesy movies, he will venture into hard drugs. I’m available if they want a ghost-written autobiography by the time he’s born.

—This week, George Michael signed one of the UK’s biggest book deals ever to pen his scandalous autobiography. Michael was a teen heartthrob with Wham! and then a massively successful solo artist in the early 90s, but since then his fame has been reduced to the occasional tabloid blunder. He’s been caught multiple times perusing for gay sex in public toilets, and various drug arrests have lost him his driver’s license for the next two years. I’d recommend his upcoming bio for bathroom reading, but I’m guessing that most George Michael fans have a long list of things they’d rather do in a restroom stall.

—The theatre is not above or beneath us here — Pinter is the favorite, though Peter Morgan and Alan Bennett are no slouches — so we’re sad to say that Broadway will see the last of Rent on June 1. It will sure make for a lot of clichéd headlines, unfortunately, and will leave a gaping hole in the theatre musical industry that’s only seen “Wicked” succeed at a similar level in the last 12 years.

—Two pieces of Warner Bros. news came out today, one good and one bad. First, the studio announced an indefinite hold on Justice League, its only superhero movie slated for 2009 release. The only big star affected by the decision is Adam Brody, cast as the Flash, who’s still searching for a script to top In the Land of Women. Warner Bros. will make big bucks, however, by re-releasing Michael Clayton in 1,000 theatres on January 25. The George Clooney vehicle had lukewarm box office success back in October 2007, but looks to gain momentum with Academy Award noms for Clooney and supporting actor Tom Wilkinson (announced on Jan. 22).

The Grammies, as in the one awards show that people actually want turned into an hour long press release, will run with or without writers on February 10. The Grammy Awards turn 50 this year, so the event was supposed to be a special occasion, but its highlight will inevitably be Amy Winehouse passing out during her own performance. And without writers, how will Fergie spell?

—Both last and least, Sylvester Stallone drops by Letterman tonight to plug Rambo IV: The Octogenarian’s Revenge (or something like that). Isn’t this trailer enough?

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