The Painfully Generic Collegiate TV Schedule

For whatever reason, in my apartment, I have the worst luck getting the remote control. I come home, and at any given time, one of the roomates is sitting on the couch, watching his show, unmoving. This leaves me with one of two options: watch television, or do some kind of work. So I punish myself…

…I watch TV. I say I punish myself because, well, my roomates don’t have the best taste in television. Here’s a half-day in the life of our television:

10-11: Price is Right, CBS. Once upon a time this would have been acceptable, but now, with Drew Carey and girls that no longer seem hot, it’s getting unwatchable. Have we gotten a reason why Drew Carey rushes through the show so much? Can’t he just eat during commercial breaks?

11-12: Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, VH1. In our sad sadistic society, watching drug addicts is becoming entertainment. This show is painful, but I’d watch Dr. Drew anyday before enduring “Intervention”.

12-12:30: Making the Band 4, MTV. There’s a simple rule in this apartment. When nothing is on, watch MTV or the Discovery Channel. And I promise you: if I could erase two channels from TV forever, it would be MTV and the Discovery Channel.

12:30-1: Everyday Italian, Food Network. One of the times I don’t complain. But I have to say, my roomate’s reaction to Giada’s moans after trying her own food are a bit strange. But I guess he says what we’re all thinking, right?

1-1:30: Daily Show, Comedy Central. Actually, between 12:30 and 1:30 I’m pretty happy, because like any white college kid, I do love me some Jon Stewart. I agree with most that the show has suffered some as a result of the Colbert Report, which leads me to 1:30…

1:30-2: Colbert Report, Comedy Central. Ugh. In my opinion, the most overrated current TV personality alive. Colbert is so over the top — yes, I know, that’s his shtick! — that I can’t watch him for more than five minutes without wanting to gouge my eyes out. Sorry, not a fan.

2-4: Real Housewives of Orance County, Bravo. Now, there’s no one more than me than can appreciate a guilty pleasure, or a MILF. But this show really is neither, it’s ugly women trying desperately to look younger, which only makes them uglier. This has all the good parts of My Super Sweet 16, without the hot chicks. Oh, wait, they’re really 16? Hey Chris Hanson!

I’ll be back tomorrow with the upsetting second half…


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