Painfully Generic Collegiate TV Schedule, Part 2

For whatever reason, in my apartment, I have the worst luck getting the remote control. I come home, and at any given time, one of the roomates is sitting on the couch, watching his show, unmoving. This leaves me with one of two options: watch television, or do some kind of work. So I punish myself…

…I watch TV. I say I punish myself because, well, my roomates don’t have the best taste in television. Here’s the second half-day in the life of our television:

4-4:30: Real Housewives of Orange County, Bravo. Seriously, to these people, this show is like crack. I’ve never seen anything like it, but really, which already-rich gold-digger sells a house in her spare time real estate company actually intrigues people. It’s an astounding symbol of the state of this country.

4:30-5: Rob & Big, MTV. Hey, he’s white and skinny, and he’s black and fat! What a hilarious, unlikely combination! This may or may not be the real fascination for this show.

5-6: Cash Cab, Discovery. If you’re going to make me watch the Discovery Channel, please let this be the show on at the time. While Ben Bailey isn’t nearly as funny as he thinks he is, and the double-or-nothing doesn’t get taken nearly enough (and really, when it does, you know it’s rich New Yorkers that you then root against), this is one of the better, more intelligent game shows on TV. And the further you can get me from the Bravo Channel after 2-4:30, the better.

6-6:30: How It’s Made, Discovery. Inevitably, after Cash Cab ends everyday, the roommates are too lazy to raise their arms, and use the remote to change channels. That kind of energy demands a half-hour preperation. So in this time slot, I’m subjected to watching a factory work, often spitting out millions of the same boring product. For an engineer, this would still not be interesting. For anyone else, watching is a test of patience.

6:30-7: America’s Funniest Home Videos, WGN. I really thought that people had given up on this show after Bob Saget left, but now, the trite home videos never stop! In the days of the Internet and YouTube, I could literally spend 4 hours per day for a year watching funnier material than I get at any point during this show.

Primetime means different things on different days, but I’ll go with Tuesday, since I was subjected to it just last night…

7-8: American Idol, FOX. And really, if watching this wasn’t allowed by the roommates, I would move out. But they like it, too. However, the difference really lies in what we like: I have one roommate who would kill for the entire show to be about the rejects. It’s trite, it’s predictable, it’s annoying, but hey, it’s funny?

8-8:30: Dirty Jobs, Discovery. Why would a person in the world apply to be on this show? Don’t they realize that the show completely objectifies jobs by rating them as the worst in America? More than anything, we watch and we’re just upset that anyone has that job, and glad we’re in college. For the people not in college that watch it, well, I don’t know what to tell you.

8:30-9: Throwdown with Bobby Flay, Food. Well, my biases have shown a little bit during this mini-series, because I admitted to kind of liking “Everyday Italian”, and I kind of like this show, too. But Bobby Flay is a very unlikable character, so I find myself rooting against him every show. The nice thing is that he loses on most shows, and then attributes it to challenging people who specialize in one area. Isn’t that the point?

9-10: Girls Next Door, E!. To my roommate’s credit, if TBS is airing what they label a good “Office” episode (but really, they’re all good), then we might get that. If not, we get a hotter variant of “Real Housewives”. Annoying women battling annoying problems, but at least in this show they’re hot, and E! really pushes the nudity label. God bless them for that, I suppose.

10-11: Mythbusters, Discovery. Why God, why did you allow the Discovery Channel to be invented? Besides “Cash Cab”, there is not a single good thing that comes from the channel, yet I’m subjected to this, and to Dirty Jobs, and to How It’s Made, and to Survivorman, and to a dozen other shows. Mythbusters might be my second-least favorite behind How It’s Made, because I never care whether the myth is true or not. I suppose that’s because I lie a lot.

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