-Wow. It’s a big day for birthdays. Happy birthday to Garth Brooks (46), Chris Rock (43), Steve Nash (34), and Ashton Kutcher (30). Garth Brooks and Chris Rock both plan to spend their birthdays taking shots at the bar. Steve Nash will spend his birthday taking shots at practice and answering questions about new teammate Shaq. And Ashton will spend his birthday looking for a job.
–People is reporting that Kirsten Dunst is latest celebrity to jump into the Rehab wagon. Rumors are cirrculating that she was driven to a life of alcohol and drug abuse after being forced to repeatedly kiss Tobey Maguire on the sets of Spider-Man, Spider-Man 2, and Spider-Man 3.
-In other rehab news, Amy Winehouse will not be performing at this year’s Grammy’s because she has been denied a visa by the U.S. Embassy in London. The embassy is worried if granted a visa, Winehouse would use the swipe card to purchase more crack. (I know, not my best effort.)
–Paris Hilton’s new movie, Hottie and the Nottie, recieved an “F” from E!’s Matt Steven’s today. Steven’s called the film a “gutted, lobotomized carcass of a movie.” Steven’s will be put off suicide watch sometime late tonight.
-It’s been well documented on ESPN that Sean Salisbury and John Clayton hate each other, but Salisbury took it to another level on-air before the Super Bowl. Watch this clip.
–MTV whores, like myself, were happy to see the lunatic Brooke kicked off the Gauntlet III last night, even if means there will be no more shots of two semi-attractive girls making out. But the big question is, who is going to replace Tyrie now that he left to oversee his girlfriend’s heart surgery? The MTV backpages are buzzing that it’s MJ from Real World Phili (he was one of the two huge blonde dudes on that season, not the one who got drunk, got in a fight, and then went to talk things out while hiding a butcher’s knife in his back pocket…the other one).
–Heath Ledger’s death has been ruled an “accidental overdose” according to the toxicology report.
-In political news, Mitt Romney has dropped out of the race for the Republican presidentail nomination today. Romney’s drop out makes John McCain the clear front runner for the Republican party.
–Britney Spears’ parents told the media today that their daughter was in “the throes of a mental health crisis.” The media responded by stating, “No shit.”
-And finally, Sonja Norwood, the mother of Brandy, is suing Kim Kardashian and her family, claiming credit card fraud. Norwood claims the Kardashian’s charged $62,793.83 in 2006 and $57,841.82 in 2007. The police are interested to find out if Kardashian is hiding all of that money in her ass.