Monday’s Top Ten

—First, Happy Presidents’ Day — the official holiday honoring the birthdays of George Washington and Abe Lincoln, our two finest presidents. George Bush comes in a close third.

—Happy birthday to Dr. Dre, who turns 43 today. We payed homage to The Chronic over the weekend, Dre’s early nineties rap masterpiece that changed the rap game forever. To be fair, however, it seems that the album’s titular drug has had a profound effect on Dre’s productivity; he’s yet to release a proper third album and it’s been more than 15 years. It took Kanye three and a half.

Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell will take over the three-part lead role in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, the film Heath Ledger was filming when he passed away last month. That three actors of such universal acclaim would sign on to the project is a true testament to the respect that Heath garnered in Hollywood.

David Kohan and Max Mutchnick, the two men behind Will & Grace, will produce a pilot for ABC about two friends — one gay, one straight — who find love at the same time. ABC expects the show to save its depressing comedic résumé, which has seen shows like Carpoolers and Cavemen in the last year. But coming from the Will & Grace guys in one of the hardest times to break a new sitcom, I’d expect quick dialogue and quicker cancellation.

—This is kind of old news, but Jane Fonda said “c*nt” during an interview with the Today Show‘s Meredith Vieira last week (video and subsequent apology here). The obscenity is surprising enough, but more surprising is that Fonda didn’t use the word in reference to Vieira. (Too harsh?)

—Hey, did The 40 Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up leave you unconvinced that Seth Rogen loves weed? Then check out the trailer for Pineapple Express, the latest star vehicle for WHAP’s least favorite leading man. That said, the movie looks pretty hilarious, including an unexpected pothead turn from James Franco (remember his cameo in Knocked Up?) and a possibly gay supporting role for Craig Robinson (Darryl from The Office).

—In other James Franco news, there’s talk of a nude love scene between him and Sean Penn in the upcoming Milk, the biography of a 1970s gay rights activist. Between this and Pineapple Express, Franco will be emulating the old Sean Penn and making love to the current Sean Penn in the same year.

Flo Rida (the “Low” dude) has a brand new single called “Elevator,” produced by Timbaland. I’m usually a huge fan of Timbo’s work, but this sounds way too lackluster to even touch the success of “Low.” And way too many get up/go down double entendres.

Jumper, starring Rachel Bilson and Hayden Christensen, rocked the box office this weekend, taking in more than $27 million and beating up Step Up 2 and The Spiderwick Chronicles. So despite my hesitance to embrace Christensen as an actual actor, he remains our generation’s most bankable movie star by far.

Heidi Klum told ABC News that she’d open up her home to Britney Spears while the young starlet tries to get her life back on track. Hey Heidi, we here at WHAP are pretty fucked up too…so we’ll move in, say, Wednesday?


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