—Happy birthday to Chelsea Clinton, who turns 28 today. That’s just old enough to be manipulated for political purposes!
—Mischa Barton now faces four misdemeanors for drunk driving and weed possession. She shoulda never gotten involved with that Volchock.
—In surreal estate news, Michael Jackson will lose the Neverland Ranch if he doesn’t cough up $25 mill in a few days — in which case the property will go to the highest bidder. No word on whether that includes the carnival rides, Bubbles the chimp, or the Silence of the Lambs-style kiddie pit.
—Speaking of boys, the Top Ten guys on American Idol hit the stage last night for a night of ’70s hits. The standout was David Archuleta, who sang a sugary version of John Lennon’s “Imagine.” Randy called it perhaps the show’s greatest performance ever (because hyperbole equals ratings). Tonight the chicks sing the ’70s.
—Maxim magazine has started giving albums reviews without actually listening to the CD. Both the Black Crowes and Nas have received 2.5 star reviews, based entirely on “educated guesses.” We think it’s more than a stretch to assume Maxim editors are “educated.”
—Warner Bros. might be giving Perez Hilton a record label because of his pop culture influence. I think it’ll tank within a year, but that’s just an educated guess.
—Madonna‘s new CD, set for release on April 28th, will be called Hard Candy. It’s first single is “Four Minutes,” co-written by Justin Timberlake. Just for the record, that album title has already been used by the Counting Crows.
—In other diva news, Mariah Carey has a brand new video for the single “Touch My Body.” We mentioned the song last week, but the vid’s better: it stars 30 Rock‘s Jack McBrayer as Mariah’s less-than-ideal love interest.
—On this week’s Flavor of Love 3, Flav has his top twelve girls create a restaurant in his name. He gets mad at one of the teams for mispelling his name, using “Flava” instead of “Flavor.” I guess the show’s contestants — especially Myammee and Grayvee — should have known that proper spelling is extremely important to him.
—And we gave face time to Sarah Silverman, so why not Kimmel?